A Guide To Metal

HEAVY METAL:

The protagonist arrives on a Harley Davidson, kills the dragon, drinks some beers and !&$%s the princess


GRIND METAL:

The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves...


POWER METAL:

The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and they make love in an enchanted forest


TRASH METAL:

The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princes and !&$%s her....... easy and quick



FOLK METAL:

The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (from all
the dancing) protagonist leaves without the princess


VIKING METAL:

The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his migthy axe, cooks and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals the castle and burns the place before he leaves


DEATH METAL:

The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, !&$%s the princess and kills her, then leaves


BLACK METAL:

The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in the front of the castle.....then sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her.....then he impales the
deflowered princess


GORE METAL:

The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in the front of the castle, !&$%s the princess and kills her....then he !&$%s again her dead body, slashes her belly open and eats her guts, !&$%s the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and !&$%s it for the last time


DOOM METAL:

The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks that he never could beat him, gets depressed and commits suicide....the dragon eats his body and the princess as well


PROGRESSIVE METAL:

The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo for 26 minutes, the dragon kills himself out of boredom, the protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques
learned in the last year of the conservatory... the princess escapes, and is now looking for the "HEAVY METAL" protagonist


GLAM METAL:

The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter, he steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color


INDUSTRIAL METAL:

The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes an obscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.

gelaut aus dem Thrillbeats Forum weils so genial ist...

will dir ja nich den Spass versauen(, tus aber trotzdem): irgendwann kommt man in das Alter, wo man diesen oder andere Witze, die als Massenmails verschickt werden und in jedem Forum, dass an Überfluss nicht genug kriegen kann, in derart reichhaltiger Form genossen hat, dass sie einem, egal in welcher Variation, zum Hals raushängen. Aus selbigtem Grund versteh ich nich, warum Du darüber lachen kannst.

Dieser Beitrag wurde von Luzifer: 28 Jul 2005, 06:02 bearbeitet

<cynism>toll</cynism>

es ist noch nicht allzulange her, dass mich ein komilitone damit belastete... und seine version war weitaus
umfangreicher...

@vorangehende Posts: ich finds Leben auch scheißend langweilig, aber ich beklag mich wenigstens nicht...

also ich musste grinsen...

ich, als person, die nicht so viel mit metal zu hat, konnte mich koestlich amuesieren ..
.. ja es gibt auch noch menschen, denen man mit solch posts eine freude machen kann

greez zazi

.. arme prinzessin..

kanntes auch shcon, hat mir irgendjemand ma verbal vorgetragen (max aufm hrrcn?). fands trotzdem wieder lustich,

\m/

musste grad pupsen. Lacht wer?

Jap...seit heute Morgen..


...und rate mal warum...

ich kannte es noch nich und fands witzig :P

irgendwie passt die doom sache zu paps

löl, du kennst meinen kampfgeist nich... allerdings bin ich ja auch noch pazifist.